What happened Saturday night.

Did it ever occur to me that my mom can visit my place anytime she wishes to? No. So, for the past two days I was having this great dilemma. I should have started detoxifying my place of anything 'too gay' for my mom. Hay..this is too hard. Actually, I'm not really sure of what defines too gay. Because, living away from my parent's home for 4 years has made me so comfortable of being me, gay. Yeah, it changed my views on anything that might be too gay for my mom.

****

Last night, I was in a seedy apartment. It was my friend's party. Gay friend hosted the party as a way of ridding bad vibes from him. So, being a sort of good vibe, I was invited. Gay friend was lucky to survive an embarrassing 'call boy demanding he gets the pay and the Gay Friend's iPhone' incident. I brought along this cute guy I met from somewhere.

Too many white wine, some inhaled weed stick a fellow brought and a raging libido, I woke up almost noon in somebody else's place. Yeah, I am dirty. I felt shitty afterwards. Good thing, the guy I brought at the party loves to cuddle. It somehow led to smoothing my anxiety.

*****

When I got home, The Buzz was reporting something about Piolo and Sam getting ready for some legal actions against Lolit Solis. I thought: bagay si Piolo at si Sam, pero ang cheap na naman ng issue.

Ngayon at Kailanman.mp3

If one day, I am to wed, this will be the song.

Get this widget Track details eSnips Social DNA

Sedona Sunset

My life has its sunshines and its sunsets. For the past week, I am pregnant of the feeling of a sunset. Sunsets may imply many things. One might perceive that a sunset is just one of those 'start of any beginnings'. But for me, sunset implies an end. Another of those silly goodbyes.

I just hope that when the sun shines the next day, the pregnancy is painlessly aborted.

To Lady Lily, Angela, Nelson et Tasha:

Get this widget Track details eSnips Social DNA

I miss you guys!

grow old..and alone...

I just had a pact with myself.

I have to be successful, really successful in something really noble, so that if ever I grow old and alone, I have an excuse to whom ever will ask me why I am old and alone.

I'll say that I'm married to my profession.

Here are some ideas I have in mind:

1. I want to be a Philippine Ambassador to any country where there are many Filipina nannies jumping off from high-rises.

2. I want to own a bookstore where I can sell my novels.

3. I want to be a part of a non-governmental organization that assist gay people with anything they need assisting.

4. I want to be the first gay journalist to cover any war U.S. would initiate.

5. I want to be an Editor-in-Chief of any major publication.

6. I want to be a lawyer. ( At 22, it is never late yet to take the course.)

7. I want to own a bookstore where I can sell my novels,and at the bookstore, I want to have a small, cosy cafe where intellectuals can discuss/debate the book I just wrote.

These are just some of the ideas I have.

**But, thinking of these thoughts made me rethink. Maybe, it is better that after a very long day, I'll have someone asking me: So, how's your day, baby?

another la greta issue?

Oh my God! Tsk..tsk..,do not say that these are another of those things.

Obviously, the man is not Mr. Cojuanco.

We'll have to wait for "TV Patrol" and "The Buzz".

ka-cheapan

This is really a big ka-cheapan. It's 5:00 am, and later I'm about to go to my little sister's school to defend her. Those extra-curricular activities related to P.E. should really be abolished, trashed, forgotten. It just develops stupidity/mediocrity among the youth. I mean, what will you get from all those 'dancing' classes which doesn't really contribute to whatever needs contribution? There should be these 'dancing' classes for those who can dance, and students should be given a chance to at least choose. There are many options: painting classes, pottery classes, drama classes, etc. One does not need to be trapped in 'dancing' classes.

Anyhow, back to defending my helpless sister. What really makes me sick is that the issue is really cheap! On one of those practices that they had for this 'dancing' class, one of the classmates lost her MP3 player. Her MP3 player happens to have a white headphones similar to those from iPods. My sister owns an iPod. but, that day she was carrying my old discman because I begged her to listen to my kind of music ( CD was of Erykah Badu). The discman, being archaic and all, didn't have its own headphones, so the white headphones from her iPod was the one being used. Since the white headphones was dangling from her bag, the ignorant/cheap/plain stupid classmate suddenly snatched the headphones from her bag and proudly announced that she found the 'magnanakaw'. This made my sister so furious, she was close to crying. Which is a big NO- NO for me! Na-ah! Nobody can bitch my sis! Na-ah!

So, later, I'll be wearing my best ensemble, practice my Diplomatic and Correspondence learning meet their Dean of Students' Affairs, and make sure that the ignorant/cheap/plain stupid classmate will burn in hell for her ka-cheapan...

monogamous relationship, anyone?

Four gay men was in Starbucks - Intramuros last Thursday night. It was a call from Lino that got me showering and getting dressed for the monthly rendezvous. Lino is a research person for an NGO. With Lino and me were Chit and Roma. Chit is a chef and Roma is an event organizer. We all have nothing in common except the love for men, and the love for Chit's famous aunt, Josie Natori.

Lino was the one who got us all coming in time. He just broke up with his beau because of the latter's philandering. Lino was the type that any gay man could be more than happy to be with. With his wit and charms, I say that he is a good catch. Being Lino, I can't stop thinking why would his ex-beau do such thing? Lino being in his situation is also the main culprit in reinstating the big question in my head: Can gay men stay in a monogamous relationship?

Honestly, I think I might have the answer to my own question a long time ago. When I was with the 'love of my life', who happens to be an ex nowadays, there was a time when I let myself give in. I gave in to somebody I don't even know. I know that what I did was something not to be proud of, but I did it. Up to now, I can't say exactly what made me do it. There must be different factors that I'm not that aware of up to this day. Or, it could be plainly libog.

I never told my ex about it though. No one knows until now.

Having been into 'it', I must say that it didn't affect the relationship. Why? Because my ex didn't know that I did it. This thing might not affect our relationship because of him not knowing of the deed, but, clearly, it is an answer to my question. Most gay men might not stay in a monogamous relationship. It was a choice that these gay men can not clearly explain.

Ikaw, what do you think?

The Botox-ed and the Script-writer

October is just beggining, so, like every first weeks of the past months, I promised myself that this month will be fabulous! ( you should read Fabulous with a Bang!) As in, I want it to be bang! bang! fab!

Everything was starting great. My spirits were high, I was inspired all the time, motivated even, then suddenly my PC screen popped up a message: " 1 mail received". I got a bad review! So bad I want to just go home, take a shower and temporarily die, because the effort I have put into my work got this low, degrading review. hay...

Anyhow, I'm sure that you have heard of the Desperate Housewives' one little episode that crashed the whole show, all the successful seasons it ran, and specially the Botox-ed zombie-looking Teri Hatcher. No offense to the show, which I found intelligent and witty, as well as funny, but I never liked the actress that plays Susan. Even if she didn't say the line implying that med schools in the Philippines is a big blah, I will always dislike her. Maybe, one of the reasons why I act this way is because I used to crush on Superman, and Teri was my nemesis. ( Lois and Clark series, circa 1990's, ABC5).

But, haven't you thought that the person/s who should get all the grudge of the Pinoys are the writers of the show? Teri Hatcher, although Botox-ed and zombie-like was just reading the script.

Think about this, my fellow Pinoys: eventually, she'll die looking like that, but think. She was just reading the script..