To be rejected, or to be rejected.

I was rejected by someone that I don't even know.

It was the first time that I went to Trinoma. I didn't fall in love with Trinoma unlike what Greenbelt or Alabang Town Center did. I just tagged along my good friend Cherry and some of her people: Bonnie, Nikko and Germaine. But the experience was good. I love it when the people I'm with love to talk, and I must say that those people has a passion for talking.

Some coffee and tons of cigarrettes after, someone in the group suggested that I get to know her good gay friend. Gay friend, as what was suggested, is a good writer (used to write for Chalk magazine), he was supposed to be an avid fan of books, is good looking, and is masculine enough for me. I'm not sure, but Cherry's people must have gotten to know the traits that I look for a guy within the 2 hours of talking and cigarrettes.

The plan was, Germaine will make sure that the guy is available, and his number will be forwarded to me. I agreed. Somehow I wanted to know the guy, but being disappointed and devastated many times with these set-ups, I didn't expect too much.

So, after a few days, the guy's number was forwarded. I must admit, I'm not sure what to do. Asking the guy if we can be friends in a text language is not my forte. So, I just saved his number and waited for nothing from my end.

Until my new friend Bonnie forwarded a lovely, lovely message about post-break-up scenarios. Being a sucker for these things, I sent the message to all the mobile numbers saved in my phone book.

4 hours after the message was sent, 9 people reacted. I was really sleepy, but noticing that the 'guy' replied made me read his message. This was how the chain of messages went on:


'Guy': "Hi! Who is this, please?"


Me: ( I decided that I have to be forward since I wanted to sleep already.) Hey! my name is philip and i got your number from germaine and thought that we could be some sort of friends, or something.."


'Guy': Did you view my friendster account?


Me: Yeah, I think I did once, you look cute. ( Damn! ang corny ng reply ko, leche!)


No reply from the 'guy'. I went to sleep and dreamt of something surreal like candles and labyrinthine houses.


The next morning was the time that I was blown. I was rejected by someone that I don't even know. And that the feeling is not that nice!




Ngek, what did I do to deserve this? Siguro ayaw sa mga blonde:

I miss my Tita Leyn!

Wala na akong kasamang kakanta ng 'Sana Ngayong Pasko'..

tutu day!

froo..froo..

too..too..

The Pencil Dancer has done it again!


Okay..people..you can kill me now! =)

Perfect Day

I woke up 6.22 AM, made some coffee and some toast for myself.

Sister shoved a glassful of cranberry juice for me to try on. This is part of her 'diet na pang-model', along with some slices of carrots and boiled kamote, one toast and a glass of cranberry juice.

I have to decline, I love my breakfast bland and unhealthy. I never liked too much flavor touching my stomach early in the morning.

7.30 AM, after making a fool of myself by smoking in our floor and getting my neighbor reporting me to whomever she reported me into, I was doing my laundry. This usually is the time of the week for me to domesticate myself. I hate it!

Anyhow, I have been doing this routine for a year now. I wake up, work, sleep, wake up, sleep, work. Haay, I want some changes..

*******

There'll be a time that my friend Cherry will decide to again go hit the computer to embrace the modernity of our generation. And when she does..hehe..


I want to thank you for being always there. Remember this perfect day? San Mig Lights for us at 9.00 in the morning. This will make us old, but yeah, it was fun.

Thanks!

What happened Saturday night.

Did it ever occur to me that my mom can visit my place anytime she wishes to? No. So, for the past two days I was having this great dilemma. I should have started detoxifying my place of anything 'too gay' for my mom. Hay..this is too hard. Actually, I'm not really sure of what defines too gay. Because, living away from my parent's home for 4 years has made me so comfortable of being me, gay. Yeah, it changed my views on anything that might be too gay for my mom.

****

Last night, I was in a seedy apartment. It was my friend's party. Gay friend hosted the party as a way of ridding bad vibes from him. So, being a sort of good vibe, I was invited. Gay friend was lucky to survive an embarrassing 'call boy demanding he gets the pay and the Gay Friend's iPhone' incident. I brought along this cute guy I met from somewhere.

Too many white wine, some inhaled weed stick a fellow brought and a raging libido, I woke up almost noon in somebody else's place. Yeah, I am dirty. I felt shitty afterwards. Good thing, the guy I brought at the party loves to cuddle. It somehow led to smoothing my anxiety.

*****

When I got home, The Buzz was reporting something about Piolo and Sam getting ready for some legal actions against Lolit Solis. I thought: bagay si Piolo at si Sam, pero ang cheap na naman ng issue.

To Lady Lily, Angela, Nelson et Tasha:

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I miss you guys!

monogamous relationship, anyone?

Four gay men was in Starbucks - Intramuros last Thursday night. It was a call from Lino that got me showering and getting dressed for the monthly rendezvous. Lino is a research person for an NGO. With Lino and me were Chit and Roma. Chit is a chef and Roma is an event organizer. We all have nothing in common except the love for men, and the love for Chit's famous aunt, Josie Natori.

Lino was the one who got us all coming in time. He just broke up with his beau because of the latter's philandering. Lino was the type that any gay man could be more than happy to be with. With his wit and charms, I say that he is a good catch. Being Lino, I can't stop thinking why would his ex-beau do such thing? Lino being in his situation is also the main culprit in reinstating the big question in my head: Can gay men stay in a monogamous relationship?

Honestly, I think I might have the answer to my own question a long time ago. When I was with the 'love of my life', who happens to be an ex nowadays, there was a time when I let myself give in. I gave in to somebody I don't even know. I know that what I did was something not to be proud of, but I did it. Up to now, I can't say exactly what made me do it. There must be different factors that I'm not that aware of up to this day. Or, it could be plainly libog.

I never told my ex about it though. No one knows until now.

Having been into 'it', I must say that it didn't affect the relationship. Why? Because my ex didn't know that I did it. This thing might not affect our relationship because of him not knowing of the deed, but, clearly, it is an answer to my question. Most gay men might not stay in a monogamous relationship. It was a choice that these gay men can not clearly explain.

Ikaw, what do you think?

Guessing Game

I was browsing thru my archives when I suddenly pulled out this picture. You may now start guessing who the Pencil Dancer is...

P.S. I'm so0o sorry Dax! peace! hehe.

Ode to the Daphne

Happy Birthday Daphne! See, I didn't miss it! :-)