Ang Goatee ni Vaness

Shuschal! Eye-love na talaga ituh!

Ayoko mag-move one, kasi...

When my bestfriend broke up with her girlfriend, I was there to comfort. I was there to remind her that her ex is such low life that she should be grateful that she was able to rid herself of the ex.

I was there to lend all my thoughts on how my bestfriend will wake up the next morning fabulous. I was there if she needs to do her nails or needs some oatmeal facial. I was there as the best gay friend she can have.

Also, I prepared myself with the litanies of how she has to move on. I had completed the thoughts that I can lend with how to heal.

Siyempre, I brought with myself the words of wisdom:

Makakahanap ka rin ng iba, mas better pa.

You have to move one, you'll be able to love somebody that will truly love you back.

My bestfriend's reply was:

Ayokong mag-move on. Baka matulad ako sayo, after moving on, hindi ka na ulit na-in love.

Potah. Ultimatum ba ito?
I was not prepared for that thought.

Oo, ultimatum nga. I need to find myself some love. hay..

Haliparot ka Jollibee!!!

Jollibee VS The Pencil Dancer

Tyra says F-I-E-R-C-E!!!

OMG!!!

OMG! I am now hooked. Juciy details, as in juicy details! Shocking. Entertainingly addictive. This is better than the new Marlboro Lights blue packaging that I just bought in MiniStop that comes with a free lighter for only P38.00.

As in...hay.

Click into this link or use this URL for the complete details about what I am talking about:

http://delfindjmontano.blogspot.com/

It's my Birthday

In Friday, I’ll be turning 23. Twenty-three years of living may be considered both young and old. Too young for so many things, yet old enough to be exposed to all experiences life is to bring.

I must admit, I really don’t celebrate my birthday. The last time that I celebrated that day was when I was seven. I still have the pictures that my mom took from that day. After that, March 7 was just among the ordinary days that I have, and will have. Last year was different though. It was more emotional. And then this time, March 7 is nearing, yet again.

Maybe, it was the thought of getting old. Or maybe the fear of knowing that the more you get old, the more that you get more responsibilities.

Later this day, I was having some cigarettes. A guy, obviously a college student, was walking briskly. Probably, he’s late for a class, or something else. The real reason, I’ll never know. There’s something in that guy that screams young blood. And like a vampire hunting out for fresh warm blood, my mind started racing with thoughts. Many times I get delusional like this.

And then a thought occurred and ate all the other thoughts that I was having: he’s young, and I will never be that young again.

Yes, I feel old. Twenty-three years is old. There are many things that I wished I did when I was twenty-two. But, then again, the time has run out. All I have to do is to accept. Or, probably, I can make up to it by doing those things that I wished I did. Hopefully, my work schedule, me being a son and a brother and lastly being friend will somehow give me sometime to be just me.

So, this coming Friday, I am wishing for a lot of things.

P.S. I have given up the thought of forcing a friend about getting me Gretchen Baretto CD. Baretto CD sounds like a multiplex. And that this post was supposed to have been posted in Friday. Yes, there was a celebration. Yey!

Coffee Maker and the Blinking Thingy

The blinking thing in my Microsoft word has been blinking non-stop for the past hour. I promised myself that tonight I’ll be writing the things that I have been pondering on for the whole week now. But, nothing would come out. Like what’s happening to the coffee maker at this point, no coffee would come out. My precious coffee maker is broken. Nothing would come out.

This afternoon, I was in my college, helping with some things that our yearbook needs. Evidently, the new staff of my beloved school publication is like my coffee maker and the blinking thing on my computer screen a while ago. Even if I pull out every hair attached to their bodies, nothing would come out. Nothing would simply come out!

Without me noticing, I gave up thinking what to write. So, I learned to just let go. This sounds old, but letting go of something or someone is the formula to get things working. It does sound old and ridiculously delusional. It takes a long while to learn how this works. And that long while is painstaking. It is like a limbo, where everything is of uncertainty.

But, we both know that this would change. Yes, eventually, everything will change. So, if you are in this process of letting go, but finding that nothing is coming out from it, don’t push yourself. This too will pass. And before you know it, things are starting to work out fine for you.

And when that time comes, all you can say is: Charot, bring it on, bitch!

"E=MC².Touch My Body"

Mimi has announced that her next album will hit stores on April 15th. The first single is called "E=MC².Touch My Body". She also hopes that with her new album she will surpass the Beatles record of 20 #1 hits.

You might want to listen to the new single, dali, mainit-init pa!





So, what do you think?

Madonna

Her new set of cheeks is bothering me! I don't like those 'chicken cutlets' on her face. It reminds me of Madame Auring.



I miss the Madonna that I can view on You Tube. If there is a way to summon back the Maddona from the 90's, I'd definitely hit that.

To be rejected, or to be rejected.

I was rejected by someone that I don't even know.

It was the first time that I went to Trinoma. I didn't fall in love with Trinoma unlike what Greenbelt or Alabang Town Center did. I just tagged along my good friend Cherry and some of her people: Bonnie, Nikko and Germaine. But the experience was good. I love it when the people I'm with love to talk, and I must say that those people has a passion for talking.

Some coffee and tons of cigarrettes after, someone in the group suggested that I get to know her good gay friend. Gay friend, as what was suggested, is a good writer (used to write for Chalk magazine), he was supposed to be an avid fan of books, is good looking, and is masculine enough for me. I'm not sure, but Cherry's people must have gotten to know the traits that I look for a guy within the 2 hours of talking and cigarrettes.

The plan was, Germaine will make sure that the guy is available, and his number will be forwarded to me. I agreed. Somehow I wanted to know the guy, but being disappointed and devastated many times with these set-ups, I didn't expect too much.

So, after a few days, the guy's number was forwarded. I must admit, I'm not sure what to do. Asking the guy if we can be friends in a text language is not my forte. So, I just saved his number and waited for nothing from my end.

Until my new friend Bonnie forwarded a lovely, lovely message about post-break-up scenarios. Being a sucker for these things, I sent the message to all the mobile numbers saved in my phone book.

4 hours after the message was sent, 9 people reacted. I was really sleepy, but noticing that the 'guy' replied made me read his message. This was how the chain of messages went on:


'Guy': "Hi! Who is this, please?"


Me: ( I decided that I have to be forward since I wanted to sleep already.) Hey! my name is philip and i got your number from germaine and thought that we could be some sort of friends, or something.."


'Guy': Did you view my friendster account?


Me: Yeah, I think I did once, you look cute. ( Damn! ang corny ng reply ko, leche!)


No reply from the 'guy'. I went to sleep and dreamt of something surreal like candles and labyrinthine houses.


The next morning was the time that I was blown. I was rejected by someone that I don't even know. And that the feeling is not that nice!




Ngek, what did I do to deserve this? Siguro ayaw sa mga blonde:

may-sanib daw

Do you still remember Sophie Ellis Bextor?

Or do you even know her?

I was watching one of her videos last Wednesday night. Ate Belen, the house help saw it too. She said: Sino yan? Mukang maypagkademonyo.

I was like: WHAT?

Far from being demonic, right?

So, naghanap talaga ako ng video sa esnips so that some of my officemates can access it using their PCs.

( Off topic: I was told that officemate is not the correct term for the people you work in a closed, airconditioned, fart-infested room. If officemate is incorrect, then what?)

OO nga noh. Beautiful. Demonic. I love her.

Keys me!

WHY?

WHY?

Why are you doing this to meeeehh...

Oh, no, I was not talking to my ex.

Yesterday I went home from work, dead tired and ready to jump into bed. On my way home, I was pondering if missing the flossing part before I go to slumber will make my perverted dentist mad. I decided that he needs to be humored and that I need to sleep.

So there I was, dragging my tired feet and inhaling a Marlboro Light trying to unlock the door when I suddenly realized that I didn't have my keys.

Panic, depression, anxiety, and everything blue began enveloping my very soul. Hope was fastly fading away, saying goodbye. Slowly, I felt the terrible pain that I might not get the sleep that I am longing for. I began feeling tiny bumps on my face, all around it. Pimples are slowly creeping their way to my face's damnation. Slowly eating, swallowing the days that I used Proactive. Those were the days that I felt so beautiful, I was so beautiful it hurts. I won't be getting the sleep that I have longed for.

My bag does not have the keys. No part of the bag jingles the keys. No part of the biggest man-purse that I owned bears those keys.

Then a thought. Left hand busy holding the puffed cancer stick. The right busying itself checking and rechecking the big bad bag. Then back to the left hand. It holds the cancer stick sandwiched by the index and middle finger, and inside the palm has something hard and shiny. It was the bunch of keys.

Damn. I really needed that sleep.

tutu day!

froo..froo..

too..too..

The Pencil Dancer has done it again!


Okay..people..you can kill me now! =)

promises...yeah..

Two weeks ago, I made a promise that I will never commit to any sexually-related act with anyone but myself until I find him, or the one, or the person that will watch over me. It was taking too long. I hate to say this, but I failed. The promise that was kept for two weeks was broken, shuttered to pieces. But it was awesome.

The guy happened to be one of Dr. Margie Holmes's stalkers. That was enough explanation.

My Christmas wish

December is bitter-sweet and I never liked Christmas trees. Those plastic trees seem to be too pretentious.





But then again, it serves it's purpose of making some people feel that for once, there is something to be happy with.





Sometimes I feel like this plastic tree. But the thing is that, my tree lacks the garlands, the shiny Christmas balls and the happy lights.





So, this coming Christmas, my wish is that I find all those things to make my tree look and feel Christmas-y.

Signing Off

I am quoting Tina Turner, 'Love is a second hand emotion'.

For my three passionate readers, I will be signing off for a while. I am to heal something.

Until next time.

Hopefully, someday when I get the guts to write something again, I can see your faces, or comments here.

(This has nothing to do with Tina Turner, but I want to share this song. Ciao!)

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Prayer

Lately, I have been praying a lot. It's funny, because I didn't really had this habit of praying and being thankful for whatever I have.

But this time is different. For the past months, I have proved my strength in every big or small challenges that came my way. I was grateful, yes I was, but never did I really pondered that those are blessings from the one who watches over. This time, I am a bit scared. I do not want to loose what I earned lately. I wish so hard that the love I found will stay, until forever fades.

Perfect Day

I woke up 6.22 AM, made some coffee and some toast for myself.

Sister shoved a glassful of cranberry juice for me to try on. This is part of her 'diet na pang-model', along with some slices of carrots and boiled kamote, one toast and a glass of cranberry juice.

I have to decline, I love my breakfast bland and unhealthy. I never liked too much flavor touching my stomach early in the morning.

7.30 AM, after making a fool of myself by smoking in our floor and getting my neighbor reporting me to whomever she reported me into, I was doing my laundry. This usually is the time of the week for me to domesticate myself. I hate it!

Anyhow, I have been doing this routine for a year now. I wake up, work, sleep, wake up, sleep, work. Haay, I want some changes..

*******

There'll be a time that my friend Cherry will decide to again go hit the computer to embrace the modernity of our generation. And when she does..hehe..


I want to thank you for being always there. Remember this perfect day? San Mig Lights for us at 9.00 in the morning. This will make us old, but yeah, it was fun.

Thanks!

Kill Celine Dion!

Here's my story:

I feel restless.
I feel like running out of this room.
I want to feel my blood rushing within me.
I want to shout until my cigarette infested lungs burst out.
I want to stop listening to this mad love song.

I miss him.

you give love, you get love